I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
i need some magic done to my vagina
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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