The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize