I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
