Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
