I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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