Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
