You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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