i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
i out mim tonsoeep
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
