Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
