i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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