Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
