hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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