I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
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You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
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And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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