I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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