I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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