he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
When did angry sex become our thing?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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