try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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