Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
The dick lei will go down in squad history
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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