i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
