The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
