I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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