I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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