What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize