Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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