so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
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When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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