My boss' voice literally gives me gas
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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