just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
