i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Operation Purity has been aborted
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
