well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
