my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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