Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
