I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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