Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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