I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.