I can tuck mytits in my pants
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.