yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
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My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
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Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.