I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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