she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize
