I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
