I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
