We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
