I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
