whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
