Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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