My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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