Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
