I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
