Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
