my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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