finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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