Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
and you fell through a lawn chair
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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