I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
this boner is exhausting
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize