This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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