"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
