They should really pass out barf bags in church
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
