You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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