it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize