Who did Billy Mays play for?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize