Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
