ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
