Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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