I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
