I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
