Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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