You're so nebulous sometimes
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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