what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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