At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Will exercising make me less horny?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
